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Jun. 26th, 2009 @ 06:15 am I just don't know anymore...
Current Mood: uncomfortablebleh...
I'm 23, My bangs are slowly going white on me due to likely the stress of how stupid people are making things around these parts, and I barely make over $5,000 a year since my job is as dead end as it gets, and since things went so lulzy that I'm now the only source of income for my household, so I'm deadlocked now into this life...

Meh.

I'm probably giving up on further attempts at "Love", since every time is a failure, and all the women I've been with except for one only wanted to get to know me because of the fact that they realized I'd buy them things that I thought was making them happy, instead of the fact that they were just greedy and worthless people at their cores. Today I got nice and cleaned up and put on clothes that looked very nice, and even put on my glasses, since me and this girl I've slowly been working on for about 7-8 months now were going to meet up and consider doing some things, but nope, nadda. Another deal where I get flat out ignored, not even a greeting or anything.

To Hell with it, all of it. I'm going nowhere, since there's nowhere to actually go. The only thing really left besides rotting for the remainder of my life is to possibly pursue an old dream and a new theory. But the finances... They do nothing!

An old memory from an old dream came to mind recently, and it got my gears going in the ol noggin. Back when I was living on my own, Jackie came to me in a dream and we talked, and she told me how to build a machine that would basically materialize ghosts, and said that we could be together again if I did it. From what I can gather, the thing would essentially act like one of those lulzy EXE Dimensional Area, since it was like a tower or a stick in design, and it would work off of charging an area to a set electrical frequency, so I guess it would be like a cone radius or something that would spread out from the tower device. Paranormal activity is actually heightened in areas of electrical residue, so there's at least a possiblity that it would somehow mess with the visible spectrum, and allow them to be seen easier, or possibly sound, since there's the whole possiblity of it being an electrical frequency of that nature. Then again, I have no real idea where to start on looking, and even how to tweak it, but I know that video recorders are capable of of at least picking up voice recordings off the undead, so maybe I'll try to investigate that way initially...

I'll take my "Emperor of Eternal Damnation" Certificate if this could somehow lead to immortality, by the way, if this succeeded somehow in that fashion. I also can use this as a chance to test some other things out. If it turns out that ghosts are really just some kind of response from the subconcious, and they seem stronger in power at high electrical areas, then perhaps this device could end up being some kind of psychic amplifier if used in certain ways, and all sorts of madness could happen then. Another thing I'd want to mess with, is that back when I got the dream for the inspiration on all this, this was back during the times that I didn't care and was trying to summon spirits and things like that. Given the ol apartment had some creepy things in it after it was all said and done, and pots and pans and other things like to click and clack late at night with nobody around them as well as other things... I wouldn't mind seeing how rusty I am in that respect, and the effects that device could have if I truly was capable of spirit channeling.
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